Adoption Journey for the Kooima's

Time gone by.....

2011-03-31T14:07:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that it has been a year since Taryn was born and my last post was dated Oct. Taryn turned 1 and we had a very fun party to celebrate the big milestone. She is a little peanut - almost 20# but short by 3oz. She is walking and talking up a babble storm. It is so fun to see Alexis and Taryn interact/play/fight with each other. Taryn continues to be about 3 -4 months ahead developmentally.

Back in January, we went to visit Taryn's extended birth family and 1/2 sister. Taryn's birth step-grandma has been very supportive and encouraging to us this past year. We have kept in touch with her a bit and she has been extremely respectful of our family. She says in every email that she can not express her thankfulness to us and that she is forever grateful that Taryn is with us. It is hard to know how often to contact her as I am sure it is for her on the reverse side too. Sometimes I really want to have more of a relationship and other times I think it would be too much, not only for us but for Alexis since her adoption is completely closed. It is hard to juggle that emotion.

This past month or so has been somewhat of an adoption magnet. There are several people that I know either waiting for a baby or in the adoption process or have just met a birthmom or just received a baby for the first time. It brings back so much emotion, joy, anxiousness and nervousness. The question has been asked if we would adopt again. I guess you can never say never, but we are not going to pursue another adoption, the only way we would ever consider another child is if God decides to drop one in our laps.

We had an awesome visit from my brother-in-law and his little boy Kayden. It was so fun to see him and Alexis wrestle to him being ever so gentle with Taryn! We decided to get the kids' pictures taken and hope to post some of those soon.

Just thought I would post a quick update. Take care and keep thinking of those families who are still waiting, applying and walking through an adoption journey.

Final Court Today!

2010-10-18T22:16:00.001-05:00

I can't believe how time has gone by but yet has only been 7 months since Taryn was born. We had our finalization hearing today which is the last step in the adoption process. I can say I am relieved, but it is just a sensation of being done with something - a completion - a whew! I am always amazed (well twice now) when the judge says "this court deems you to be a fit parent....." Praise the Lord - we are fit to be parents! I wish at times all parents had to go throught this to be "deemed" as fit. Alexis almost had a melt down in front of the judge so that would have been really good - i wonder if we would have been "deemed" fit then? It was all about the M&M's that Emily brought along. Anyway, all went well and we had a celebration at our house tonight. Enjoy some pics of the recent months of Taryn growing so quickly!

More Pics

2010-06-11T12:46:00.000-05:00

Here are more pictures to enjoy. Taryn is understanding what the camera is just like her big sister and will crack a big smile. She smiles alot and the other day I caught her trying to laugh! She is about to roll over - she arches her back, kicks her legs and grunts to turn over. She just can't get the arm to cooperate. She did flip from her tummy to her back the other day and was pretty suprised by that. She loves to be outside - we went for a walk the other day and she stayed awake for 3/4 of the 3 mile walk. The goal was for her to SLEEP! She just sat in her jogger and chomped on her fingers and girggled away. The end of the month we are having professional pictures taken, so keep checking back for those! They should be cute!

Pictures - FINALLY!

2010-06-09T00:10:00.000-05:00

I am fianlly sending out pictures, getting anouncements ready and planning for baptism. All of this has been on hold pending the court date. Now, I feel like I can really spread the word and send out the mass emails that I did with Alexis. I am not going back to work until July 1st aka after July 4th Holiday.... so I have time now to enjoy and plan for these things.

Taryn is doing soooo much better. She is over the colic hump and is showing a very easy going kinda gal. Her birthmom did email us to see if we could come for a visit. She initially did not want visits, but now is wanting to see us all. We are ok with it, but wonder what this will lead to.......... We struggle with what to tell Alexis and who this person is and so forth. At daycare, there is a mom who is expecting and there is much discussion regarding what is in her tummy. Alexis has asked some questions and seems to understand when I explain to her that another birthmom had her and Taryn in their tummy, but God gave you to us to be a mommie and daddie. I even tried to relate it to Nanuk and Moochie since their mommies had them in their tummies, but they live with us and I am their mommie now. Alexis also like to watch Dinosaur Train - which has a dinosaur that is adopted into another dinosaur family. I am sure as she gets older and understands more, the questions will become harder and more complex. nevertheless, Cliford the big red dog helps us along too.......

Anyway, I am uploading some pictures, more to come....

The Judge has Ruled!

2010-06-04T10:22:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to drop a quick line to let everyone know that the hearing for birthparents was completed this morning. The judge ruled and signed the forms for termination of parental rights for birthmom and the potential birthfathers. A huge weight has been lifted! Now we can actually send out pictures, anouncements, and plan for baptism!

YEAH!!!!!!!!

The next step is finalization which will occur sometime in September. Then we will be completely done with the legal process.

YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great weekend!

Court Date!~!

2010-04-27T07:15:00.000-05:00

Our social worker called today to tell us that the court date has been set for June 4, 2010 to terminate rights of all birthparents. Birthmom and potential birthfather #1 had terminated their rights on paper and this process will finalize that step. Birthfather#2 - his rights will be terminated based on abandonment provided there is no contest and the judge rules in that favor.

We are happy we finally have a court date - I was suprised that it is over a month away - I kinda was hoping for tomorrow...... BUT as always, everything takes time. I guess we have waited this long, what is a 'few' more weeks, right???

Otherwise, all is good. Taryn is 6 weeks already and finally getting out of the colic stages..... still have some nights that are tough, but they are becoming less. We are grateful for that. Everyone keeps asking about Alexis and if she has regressed in anyway. She really hasn't that I noticed, but then it hit me last week - she will not leave her 'banky' anywhere. She has become attached to it once again. We broke the banky habit long before Taryn, but now, 'bank' has to come with us wherever we go. At least she is willing to leave it in the Edge and not take it into stores!!!! I guess I will take this regression vs other things such as potty things...... pheuuuew!

Take care,
CK

We are still waiting!!!!!

2010-04-23T13:40:00.000-05:00

Hi there,
just a quick note to let you know that we do not kow anything new as far as the legal aspect goes. The last we were told is that the attorney for Bethany was going to petetition the court to terminate parental rights based on abandonment for birthfather #2. We have not heard if a court date has been set at this time. Part of me wants to call the attorney and scream at her - seriously - can you please put our case on top priority???? I know they have lots to do and ours is just one of them. Our social worker said that it is a good thing that it is taking longer and the other birthfather and his family have not made any contact - it just builds the case for abandonment. Well, i hope they are considering my mental health!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taryn is doing better - we really struggled last week or so with colic. We changed forumula and have changed a few things with who can hold her and such for stimulation reasons. This appears to be working. It helps she is growning too and hopefully out of this stage FAST. Alexis remains such a great big sister - sometimes overbearing wtih the kisses and hugs to Taryn, but generally a really big help.

Thanks for the support - phone calls, texts, emails ect... We appreciate that!

Stay tuned!

Legal Updates

2010-04-09T09:32:00.000-05:00

We are in a waiting game right now. We heard yesturday that the lawyer is going to go ahead and petetion the court for a date on proceed with the officiall termination of right on birthmom and birthfather identified as #1. At that point, if birthfather #2 does not contest anything (which we highly doubt, but just do not want to assume), then his rights will be terminated as well. There are sooooo many issues with #2 brithdad and the waiting is actually more in our favor legeally..... We hope to hear of a court date SOON and then I will post that date so we can have a team of prayer warriors focusing on that date. The anxiousness has subsided some, but IT sticks with you in the back of your mind, your thoughts, and emotions.

We also had out first post-placement visit. It went well. Alexis actually fell asleep on Randy's lap. The social worker was great with helping us understand some of the legal stuff and how it affects everything regarding birthdad #2.

Thanks for all your support - it really has helped us through this waiting period. I will keep you posted.

CK

Not out of the woods yet!

2010-04-01T07:09:00.000-05:00

Well, the 29th has come and gone and we are not out of the woods yet. The documentation and process all takes time. We had hoped that on the 29th we could just close the door, but we can't. The lawyer is reviewing the information to make sure that everything is covered before we can proceed. Taryn is still at home with us and doing great! Alexis is a very helpful sister - the only time she really gets worked up about Taryn is when Nanuk comes over to sniff her! Alexis yells at Nanuk and tells him Taryn is HER babysister, not his!!! Too funny - I should have a video camera going 24/7.

We will keep you posted and once we can celebrate - we will let you know!!!

CK

Promised Pics!

2010-03-23T20:06:00.000-05:00

Hurdles completed, still some to go!

2010-03-22T19:24:00.000-05:00

Saturday at 4:00 was a huge time frame that was met. This concluded the 96 hours for the birthmom and birthdad to change their minds on the placement of Taryn. We celebrated the time and enjoyed a few text messages from friends and family as well. We still are awaiting another potential birthfather's signature. Unfortunately, due to his circumstances, he will not be able to sign until the 29th of March. At that point, we can sigh a relief.

Taryn is doing great! Today she took her first full 4oz of formula. I think she is in a formula coma now. She burps really good and hasn't had much for spit up, so we are thankful for that. She is a huge snuggler - my favorite! I was reminded that Alexis was too and usually at 3 AM I am reminded that I may have snuggled a bit too much with her as she only will want her mommie. She made her appearance at church on Sunday and was awake for much of the service. I think she liked the music. She will come to a few of my facilities next week as well.

Alexis continues to be a wonderful big sister. She is a very big help and loves to be mother hen to Taryn (hummmm wonder where she got the mother hen thing...... :-) ) She is very proud to show off her baby sister.

I still am trying to break down the wall that I built after the last disappointment. I am very scared for the 29th. I want it to be over and know that there is nothing that will jepordize Taryn's placement with us.

I plan to post pics soon......

CK

ANNOUNCING

2010-03-16T18:37:00.000-05:00

We can finally announce our 'lil bear - Taryn Rae born on March 12 - Friday. 7# 4oz and 20 in long. We took her home on Sunday night but had to wait for paper work to be signed today before we could breath a sigh of relief. We do have more hoops to jump through before we can be say that there is no possibility for this placement to change, however, today was a HUGE day.

To back track a bit:
Wednesday afternoon, the birthmom called us to tell us that she would more than likely have baby by the weekend, although couldn't say for sure when. So we debated about heading over all week. We put ourselves on standby to leave at any minute, night or day. Brithmom wanted us to be in the nursery soon after baby was born. Finally, on Friday, we were told that she would be induced in the late afternoon. We waited at the hotel and then brithmom called to say that they gave her an epidural and was dilated to 7. We hurried over to the hospital and waited. The brithmom and I were texting back and forth during her labor - funny that she wanted to text! Anyway, there was a short time in which I did not get a text and then all of a sudden she text that baby T was born. (We referred to the baby as baby T as brithmom, Randy and I agreed on a name together, but wanted to keep something a secret!) Birthmom wanted me to have the baby's braclelete to Randy and I would have full access to the nursery. We were in the nursery approximately 45 minutes after birth. It was awesome!!! She still had "junk" on her as Randy called it. We watched the nurses do the vitals and checks per protocol and also met the Dr. who delivered Taryn. He indicated that the delivery went very smooth and baby looked awesome. For those of you who are medical - apgar's were 8 and 9. The hospital provided us a room so we could stay at the hospital. The birthmom's room was across the hall from our room. We had a VERY emotional and stressful weekend. We met many of birthmom's family, extended family and friends. They are all supportive of the adoption plan which made it easier for sure! I seriously don't think I would be a good hospital patient because the beds are far too hard and I felt like I was going nuts! Perhaps it was the situation.

Randy and I were maxed out and would forget to eat. Friday we ate dinner at 11:00 - Saturday, I looked up at the clock and it was 9 PM. We had forgotten to eat dinner. We settled for an apple and went to bed. Sunday, we forgot to eat lunch and at 3 PM realized this.

We met the birthdad on Sunday as well. More stress!~! After a mountain of paperwork and risks explained, we headed home. With adoption, the birthparents are not able to sign their rights off until after 72 hours. Once 72 hours has passed, then they can sign and they have 96 hours to reconsider. Once 96 hours has passed, then Bethany petitions the court to "offically" terminate the rights - this may be approximately 2 weeks from the 96 hours. SOOOO if you take a baby home before the 72 hours, it is considered a legal risk - meaning, if either one of the birthparents would refuse to sign, then baby would be taken from you and place in "interim" care a.k.a. foster care until they would sign. NOW, it is also a risk to take a baby after the 72 hours but before the 96 hours for the same reasons. We opted to take the risk based on the situation with the birthparents. We are still in the legal risk phase, but at least have passed the inital signing. There are other circumstances with this situation that may pose an issue, however, it is minimal. Bethany's lawyers are reviewing at present to make sure this is all handled appropriately.

Taryn is doing wonderful. She is our 'lil bear. She has an awesome big sister that is dying to help and hold whenever she can. Alexis really hasn't shown "jealousy" but does try and show off when people are over. Kinda funny.

We told Alexis that we were going to go get a baby sister for her. She asked where from? We told her God was going to give us one. She asked where was God? I said, well, way up high in the sky - in heaven. She says, OH, well we could take an airplane and go find him.......... so cute. Now she says that God gave her Taryn, her little sister.

Thank you for all the support and prayers - we are not out of the woods yet, but can surely see the path that is leading us out.

K's

2nd Meeting

2010-03-02T20:42:00.000-06:00

Our second meeting went well. We ate pizza and swam at the hotel where we were staying. Alexis had to show off - of course - and thankfully was extra good! Everything continues to remain postive......... Birthmom has an appointment this Wednesday (tomorrow) so we will see how things are going. We just continue to pray for birthmom as this is such a tough situation for her.

Another meeting....

2010-02-24T14:31:00.000-06:00

We are going to meet the birthmom again this weekend, this time we are meeting her extended family. They have all reviewed our profile and are very supportive of the decision.

We continue to maintain a "neutral" position with this situation. It is hard not to think about possibly having a baby within a few weeks or so..... but also we remind ourselves that adoption is never 100%.

Again, we ask for prayers for birthmom......

Adoption Update

2010-02-16T14:50:00.000-06:00

We met a birthmom this past Sunday. She is due mid March. She would like to meet us again. All positive signs, but yet we are very hesistant and cautious. It is hard to allow yourself to be excited for this as we know all to well that these signs are not a gaurentee for placement. I feel like I have a 12' thick wall around me as my protector. I don't want to get attached, be excited, or have any emotion because it is just too hard when it doesn't work out. I KNOW God has a plan and everything will fall into place as it should - i just need to do this for my own mental health.

About a month ago, I think I finally let go of my wonderful mother hen trait (that sometimes gets me into trouble) regarding the twins. I was always thinking "do they have enough warm clothes, do they have enough food, how are they doing....." I probably will always think of those things, but just not as constant as it had been. Anyway, I was out on a walk and really my mind and heart just finally came together and I felt like the worries were lifted. Whenever we go through difficult times, we anticipate the coming moment when all the pressure is off, the worry has subsided, the healing has manifested, the sadness has lifted and the pain is gone. It happened that morning. A couple of weeks later, our social worker called to tell us a birthmom had selected our profile and wanted to meet. Funny how everything happens at the right timing.........

We just really would like you to keep birthmom in your prayers - she is in such a tough situation. We will keep you posted through the blog as time goes on.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2009-12-30T19:31:00.000-06:00

We have had a busy December with Alexis turning 3 on the 22nd, the BIG snow storm, Christmas day which included her take home day (actually night) and now new years approaching FAST!

Alexis has continued to show us what family means. She just has something about her that you can't explain. Her big brown eyes just melt daddy everytime and me too. She is really "getting" the Santa and Christmas themes. On Christmas day, she sang Happy Birthday Jesus - we also had the kids at church sing this too. She had many questions about where is Jesus and what is he doing....... oh boy, such loaded questions for a little girl. She also had such high aspirations for a 3 year old. She tells me frequently and has for some time now that she wants to be a doctor and help people. She says she wants to help everyone. So cute..... Randy and I think we better start saving for college!!!

We still continue to wait for our next little peanut. We were told that Bethany is working with 6 birthmoms due in the next several months. I don't know if I want to know that or not. It doesn't mean that we are gaurenteed a baby from one of these birthmom's - we may not even match up with any of them. Sometimes I think that not knowing is better than knowing. Then again, sometimes knowing is helpful as it does provide hope. I guess it depends upon the news and the day........

Some days I long for the news or even a baby in the house and then the other day, Alexis went on a snowmobile ride with Randy and myself and I thought what would I do with a baby???? I am sure we would just take turns, but sometimes we get so used to our current lifestyle that a change would just cause the normal to be an unknown. Alexis is fully potty trained now and I just wonder if I remember how to change a diaper!!!! I may have to get the books out again that talk about how to raise an infant...... HAHAHAHAHAH!

Well, have a wonderful new year - we hope to have news in the new year!

CK

Just Checkin' In

2009-12-02T13:29:00.000-06:00

We hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We had an awesome long weekend. For Thanksgiving, my mom and dad came for lunch along with Randy's brother Kevin, his wife Angie and their big boy Kayden. Kayden now stands about an inch taller than Alexis despite being almost 1 year younger than her. Thanksgiving night, we had our friends Deb and Jeff over - offically adopted grandparents - for homemade pizza. On Friday, Alexis and I stayed in our PJ's until 4:00. We then took a long bubble bath and cleaned up the house before Randy came home. We painted, read books, played, watched movies and started to decorate for Christmas. On Friday night, we finished decorating the house for Christmas. Saturday, we headed out to Ankeny to Kevin & Angie's house for a short weekend. There were snowmobile races that Randy and Kevin went to on Sunday morning. Sunday night we just hung out. What a wonderful weekend!

We have been asked so many times about birthmom and the question comes up " what if she changes her mind once she is home and realizes that she can not do it" - our social worker encouraged us not to even think that and there has to be a point at which you stop your mind. We don't know anything about the birthmom or the babies and we will not be given updates regarding this either. This does not stop us from wondering about her and the babies.

We have been called again, but the situation did not fit our family. We know that our time will come and just have to chill out!!!

Not much else for news - just thought we would check in with everyone!!!

Have a good week!
CK

Reflections

2009-11-20T17:14:00.000-06:00

An old phrase "time heals all wounds" still holds true today. A week has passed and I have realized that looking back at the timeline of this chapter of our adoption journey, my life feels like it was on hold for 6 weeks. Someone said the other day that Thanksgiving was next week and I nearly fell off my chair. I guess, I have been looking at the calender, but hadn't even looked ahead enough to see that it was just around the corner. I feel like we should still be looking forward to Halloween!!!! It was also my birthday this past week and I felt like I was still numb as I had hoped for a much different birthday than what I had. But - I am THANKFUL for a birthday and for my family and friends.

We haven't heard anything this week. Many people have asked us "what if she changes her mind once she gets home?" Its funny, because I asked our social worker the same thing after she told us that she decided to parent rather than place. Our social worker said for us not to even consider that or hope that. Now thinking about that too - I am so glad she was up front with us because you want to hang on as long as you can and you just can't. The birthmom has stayed on my mind a lot this week. I really feel a loss for her dreams too as she wanted so badly to go back to school and get back on her feet. I know that she still can, but with 4 children under 3 it will be difficult to manage.

It is amazing how many people we have talked with over the past week that have their own adoption stories. Someone told me that they have been on the other side of adoption - her daughter was going to place and decided against it. Another person had 2 adoption failures but also had successes as well. Another person told me that her daughter had decided with an adoption plan, picked out adoptive parents, met them when she had the baby, and then decided to parent vs place. And yet another friend has shared with me over the years that her daughter did place a child with an adoptive family and how she has delt with that as a grandma.

So much can change in such a short time.

We are doing well. It is amazing the amount of support that our family, friends, churh family and communities in which we work have offered to us kind words, hugs, emails, cards - u name it.... it is just amazing. It really gives us a calm that you can not explain unless you have been there. Just amazing.

Interesting enough, when I look back at the calender and 3 years ago this past week, we had some heartache with our first adoption journey which led us to switch agencies. I made the phone call to Bethany 3 years ago today to see what we had to do to swtich agencies. On December 1, 2006 - we requested our files to be transfered to Bethany. We started our homestudy update on December 6, 2006 and then December 15, 2006 we were told that a baby would be born on December 22, 2006 and we could take the baby home on December 25, 2006. And to our family, Alexis Faye arrived!

So, the point is to believe, hope, and hang on to faith!!!!

So much can change so fast..........
stay tuned!

Have a great weekend!

Staying Strong

2009-11-14T12:36:00.000-06:00

I want to start off by saying THANK YOU to all have emailed, called, text, facebook comments, cards, flowers, visits, hugs and most importantly prayers. You don't know how much that has carried us through the initial hours and now days since the 'news'.

It is hard to wrap your emotions around the fact that you are grieving over something you never had, touched, smelled, or seen. It is a grieving process over a lost dream. I think the hardest thing for us is knowing that the babies are alive and out there. It is a much different grieving process than a death, when you know that 'somone' is gone. These babies are just starting their life and it does make it hard to know that.

We had a wonderful email/talk with our pastor. He reminded us that we are not in a position to judge. Even if we think we know better than God and where these babies should have gone, we are not even close to knowing God's plan and we shouldn't judge birthmom's decision. It has been so easy to say that we could provide a better more stable home that she could, but we don't know God's plan for her either.

I also had an awesome honest discussion with a friend about being mad at God and hashing this out with him. It was incredibly healing to be able to flat out say things without her judging me. We have to allow ourselves the full range of emotion to finally start building back up. I have always told her that I would rather her be mad at God instead of ignoring Him and not talking to Him. So now she is telling me the same thing.

Life continues to march on and we must continue to put one foot in front of the other and get back into the march. We will survive, we will move on, and we will come to terms with this. We have to remain strong!

We know that God has a plan for us and that there is a baby out there just for us. That is what FAITH is and has carried us through this time. We have felt the love and the prayers that have been offered to us. We can feel the calm, peace and the arms of Jesus hugging us. Thank you for your prayers!

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

CK

Every step........

2009-11-13T17:11:00.000-06:00

24 hours has almost past since the news of birthmom. We have really gone through alot of questioning about the situation and wonder what on earth God is doing. We both feel that "we" were not the problem - it was the brithmother's decision about her choice in parenting. There are many questions we have asked and the why's are neverending. There will never be answers to these questions we have. We just have to trust that God has a different plan for our family. I think that we both have gone through different stages of grief today, but as the sun sets (even though we can't see it today) and the rain continues, we are at some level of peace. Our hearts will always ache for the potential of these babies being ours..... the potential life we would have had.......... these will be aches for some time. As always, time heals all wounds and soon we will have another journey to hope and believe in.

We are so thankful for Alexis. She has been goofier than ever the past 24 hours and has made us laugh. She has picked up on so much and last night she came into the kitchen right after dinner and said 'dady is sad'. When I told Randy that, he was stunned. We both have been trying to hold it together for Alexis. Right now, the two of them are curled up on the couch watching Nemo. I just can't imagine life without Alexis. She truely is an adoption miracle and was brought to us straight out of Heaven. Just that thought alone, gives us hope and a belief that our second child is out there, somewhere, born or unborn at this time.

Our social worker asked us if we wanted our profile to be sent out again or to give it some time so we can regroup. We both said "get it out there" ASAP. This has knocked us down, but we are not out of the race. We will survive and life will go on. We hope and pray for blessings to birthmom and to the little baby girl and boy that she took home today.

Alexis and I took the car seat back today and we (ok I) decided to spend the money on FUN stuff for ourselves! Alexis wanted paint!!! She is going to be the next Monet! We also bought the Nemo movie. I bought workout clothes as I have found again that I miss running and how it is such a good stress relief! I don't think any marathon's are on the horizon, but a few miles will do for now. Randy went snowmobile looking and took a drive today - always a good stress relief for him.

A song that we really clung to while we were learning of infertility, the process of adoption, the hurdles that we jumped through with switching agencies and the whole emotional roller coaster with that is from Casting Crowns "I will praise you in the storm". Below are the lyrics to the song and we hold this song close to us again while we rage through this storm:

I was sure by now

That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Thank you so much for all of the support, thoughts, and prayers that everyone has offered to our family during this time. We hope that we can share positive adoption news soon!!

What a Day!

2009-11-12T20:00:00.000-06:00

The day once again has been filled with ups and downs. I spoke to our social worker this morning and lost it with her. I shared my fustrations with the whole communication issue and lack of knowing anything! All day we did not hear a thing until around 5:30 pm when our social worker called us to inform us that the birthmom decided to parent instead of place the babies with us.

I am not even sure what to say, feel or think at the present. I can say we are some what relieved that we have an answer - finally - not the one we wished for, but at least we know where we stand.

Thank you for all your support with this journey, I guess we wait again for another birthmom!

That is all I can say for now.

CK

Babies are Born!

2009-11-11T13:41:00.001-06:00

We received a phone call today that the babies were born sometime in the night by an emergency c-section as birthmom's water broke. Birthmom is very out of it yet and this information is coming from birthgrandma. We do know that the babies are weighing just under 6#. We hope to have more details tonight or tomorrow.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

The countdown is on.

2009-11-10T19:58:00.000-06:00

I keep thinking of how many hours until the babies are born - I try and not look at the clock that way, but my mind is consumed with the time. I tried to work extra today but it never failed that my eyes slowly moved to the clock to check the time - sometime it was only 5 minutes!!! Randy is so different in that he can consume himself with something and become oblivious to the time. It is funny how we both handle the stress so differently.

I feel like we are on a roller coaster and from hour to hour it seems that we may be chuggin' along the steep incline. Then, when you get to the top - the anticipation of the drop - makes your stomach turn. When you actually drop and the G-forces pull your face and cause your stomach to turn inside out and outside in - that is how it feels today. And I am sure that is how it will feel until all is said and done. I am thankful that there is not a camera taking my picture of me as I go "down" the coaster! I can't imagine how I look lately!!!

I was asked today if I was ready for twins. Is anyone ready for twins??? Is anyone ever ready for 1 child???? I guess the whole "twin" thing really hasn't got me to nervous. I think you just deal with it. How does anyone who has twins do it????? or even more multiples???? I don't know. I think you just deal with what comes your way and you make it work. You just have to.

I couldn't help it today. I had to put the stoller together which is designed for twins. It also converts to 1 toddler and 1 baby if need be too, so don't worry, I haven't jinxed anything by buying just a twin item. I also bought a car seat. I just couldn't help it again. I figured, it was something easy enough to take back if we had to. We still have Alexis's car seat, so it made it a little easier on the budget to only have to buy one.

I am so incredibly excited but just have to hold myself back. I can't wait to see the birthmom again and reconnect. But, also we are realistic and have to think about the downside of adoption as well.

HOPE FOR THE BEST, PLAN FOR THE WORST.

I leave you tonight with a Bible passage that we really have hung onto these past weeks:

Philippians 4 -

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

CK

C-Section Update

2009-11-09T20:03:00.000-06:00

The c-section is scheduled for Wednesday the 11th not Tuesday the 10th like we thought. I am really not sure what happened with the scheduling of this, but what is one more day!!!! We will just pop more tums and eat more chocolate!!!! One bit of good news is that birthmom has now requested us to be at the hospital on Friday! Originally, birthmom wasn't sure when or IF she wanted us at the hospital. According to the social workers, the "friends and family" that had offered to help her are slowly dissappearing.

It is so hard to be excited because so much can change so quickly. Our hearts ache for birthmom but yet we want to jump for joy as this means babies for us - it sounds so selfish! We are still cautiously await the call on Wednesday and then hold our breath for Thursday and pray that Friday will come FAST!

We ask that you continue to pray for birthmom! I ran into an aquaintance from another town and she said that her bible study group was praying for us and birthmom as she "heard" about our story. She is also an adoptive mom of 2 clear back into the 80's. Can't help to but to love small towns and of course facebook!!!! News travels fast with that route! Anyway - please continue to cross your fingers & toes! Thanks for all the support given already!

The WAIT continues

2009-11-03T09:12:00.000-06:00

Good Morning -
We are a week away from the scheduled c-section date. We continue to be on edge and are fustrated with the "system". We really do not have any news other than that we know the birth mother social worker met with the birth mom last Wednesday. We assume that the letter we wrote to birth mom was given to her. We do not know how that appointment went with the social worker nor do we know how the appointment with the doctor went. Our social workder emailed us on Sunday and let us know that she was going to be in touch with the birth mom social worker, but it seems that communication is lacking over there. I get SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO extremely fustrated with this because in today's world with email, text, fax, voicemail ect.... it seems that communication should be the easiest part of this whole process. I don't get it. I just don't get it.

I have said to many people when they offer prayers to pray for birthmom and not worry about us. But I think we need prayers - probably more for my sanity than anything else! Randy handles this kind of stress differently as I think most men do, but us women are such emotional people that we can cry at the change of the wind - or get mad - or get sad, just depends on the day and how the stars and moon lined up last night!@! JUST KIDDING! I am normally a stress eater and inhale anything at the site of it, but this time it is different. My stomach is turning and sour and brushing my teeth even makes me gag. Tums have been the staple. I haven't even craved chocolate!!!!!!!!!! I think the entire universive is off! My daughter emptied her Halloween candy on the counter and not even one treat looked good to me! SHOCKING!!!!!! Normally, I would try to eat the plastic pumpkin she carried for trick or treating! :-) Good news- she only selected 1 peanut butter cup and walked away from it all............. never has asked about it again!

I guess I am asking that you Please pray for us too! I hope and pray for a peace to come over me and to just relax this next week.

Getting Closer!

2009-10-26T20:09:00.002-05:00

We received a phone call from our social worker today with better news than last week. The birth mom's social worker plans on meeting with the birth mom tomorrow, so hope to have more information by the end of the week. What we do know now, is that birth mom continues to desire placement of the babies with us. She is just struggling with the emotional side of placement. She has had friends challenge her plan of adoption and have even offered to help her once babies are born. Randy and I talked to birth mom about this as she was very honest with us about her struggles that she faced already. I just can't imagine what she is going through and the emotional battle ground she must be in at this point. We are having our own emotional battle ground ourselves - just on the other side of the fence.

We are very excited, but also realize that we need to be very cautious in this situation as so much can change in such a short amount of time. I want to go out an buy everything and "be ready" but at the same time don't want to put myself in a situation in which I will just add more emotional termoil to myself aka: nut job needing medication for calming. hehehehehe.. just have to be able to laugh about something!

Babies are due November 26 and the c-section will be November 10 - that puts babies at 38 weeks! We hope she can hang on until then, but at least we are at 36 weeks already. I do not know how her appointment went last week as our social worker didn't have that information. I hope that after the visit tomorrow we will know this. We were also told today that birth dad has reportedly said he will sign off now and not cause any problems. This can change too!

I have found that just having "some" information is better than "no" information - even if there is "no" information, just to know that. Does that make sense??? I know that God is in control and there is nothing that we can do or not do to change the outcome of this situation other than pray for birth mom. We are not used to this as with Alexis is was so cut and dry as far as birth mom and birth dad. This is so new and fustrating that we - ok - I don't know how to react. Our social worker was awesome today by listening and empathizing with the situation. She validated our emotions and fustrations as well as she has workded with many adoptive families/birth mom's in her career.

Randy and I sent birth mom a letter which she will get tomorrow, so we hope that helps her in the next couple of weeks. We are looking at 2 weeks before babies, so we really just ask that you pray for both birth mom and birth dad. We continue to hold that if these are OUR BABIES, then this will work out! Until then, we wait, we wait, we wait and wait some more - we will be "in limbo" until all papers are signed and time frames are met. So many hurdles to jump through.

we will just sit back and WAIT!

BUMPS alrelady!

2009-10-21T17:51:00.000-05:00

Well, I really don't know what to say today. The appointment that was on Monday got pushed back until today. The brithmom's doctor ended up in surgery on Monday, so that is why we haven't heard anything. So now we wait with the news from today's appointment.

Birthmom is reportedly getting critized by some of her friends and family about placing the babies for adoption. They have also said that some family members are coming out of the woodworks to claim that they will "help" her if she "keeps" the babies.

Of course, we have gone through a whirlwind of emotion in the last few days, but we have to continue to focus that if these babies are ours and this is GOD's plan, then it will work out!

Please pray for birthmom while she struggles with her decision. Pray that the outcome of this birth and choice she makes keeps the babies as the focus.

For now, we wait.......................

THE VISIT!

2009-10-18T17:37:00.000-05:00

We met the birthmom on Saturday October 17th at Bethany's office in Mason City. Our meeting lasted from 2:00-5:00. The entire visit was non-stop talk! We talked about so many things, she likes to chit chat, so that was awesome. Randy said he hardley got a word in edge wise, but I thought he talked a fair amount too. The social worker hardley said a word. We really had a lot of questions for each other and when we thought she had asked us everything, she took out her notebook with a front and back page of questions! I thought we would be there till midnight. We really were very comfortable with each other!

Birthmom is 25 years old. She has 2 boys now - a 2 year old and a 3 year old. The birthfather of these boys is different than the birthfather of the current babies. YES, BABIES - she is pregnant with twins! A boy and girl TWINS! YES, we are flippin out! She is due on November 26 which is Thanksgiving day. We were told initally that she was due on November 4th. So we do have some time now! :-) During our conversation, she did say that she has a Dr's appt on Monday and they will do another ultrasound and then confirm the c-section date. She said she wanted it on the 17th of November. This is my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! She didn't know that and when I started to wig out she was like " what is wrong with the date?" and I told her that is my birthday, she started to "wig" out. So then we were all "wigging" out!

When she started her adoption plan, she had very specific critera for an adoptive family. The social worker said these were very very very specific things to want in a family, she insisted and was very firm on these until she was shown our profile. She said that we blew all of these things she wanted out of the water. She was very attracted to our profile and has looked at it daily. Bethany did find a couple that met her criteria in Pennsylvania and when she reviewed their profile, she didn't "click" with them at all. She kept coming back to ours. So we had to laugh because she said everything she wanted didn't matter after she saw our profile and after she met us. She kept telling us that from our pictures, she felt like she had a connection to us already. She kept saying that she was very comfortable with us during our meeting too. She told the social worker and us that she had no desire to look at other profiles or even consider another family and that we "are it".

We talked a lot about names, whether we would be at the hospital when babies are born, how open the adoption will be, and about her family. She joked that the kids could be quite the athletes as her family has been known for generations to have good basketball and baseball players! She thinks that the girl rules the roost already as the girl tends to kick at the boy quite a bit. The babies are measuring the same for weight right now and really have stayed very much the same for vital signs and measurements.

The wild card here is birthfather. He says in one breath that he is not the birthfather and then in the next breath tells her things that would suggest he does realize he is birthfather. So, I think that we really need to pray for him. I hope that he too realizes, like birthmother, that these babies DESERVE a better life than what either one can provide. He initally wanted her to get an abortion so THANK GOD, she decided to continue with the pregnancy.

We are overwhelmed with all of this, but on the other hand, we are prepared to just role with the punches. If birthfather is a thorn, we will deal with it. The TWINS factor - we will deal with that too!

we will have more details with date after tomorrow's appointment, but until then, pray pray pray.........

and now shop shop shop shop shop! we are going to register at target and kohls - for those of you ALREADY asking!

Take care -
CK

Birthmom Meeting

2009-10-15T18:37:00.000-05:00

We finally recieved a call from the birthmom social worker today! Last week she was on vacation, which didn't sit well with me. I couldn't believe that she could take vacation and leave us hanging! HAHAHAHA Anyway, I was on the phone today with my dear friend. She was encouraging me to call the agency to find out what was going on and I kept resisting this over the past week as I strongly believe that if it is God's will and these are our babies, then regardless if I call or not, it will work out. I felt like I needed to truely turn this over and not be in control over it. That is a lesson God teaches me often and most times I realize this later. About 30 minutes after I was on the phone with my friend, the birthmom social worker called to see if we could meet with the birthmom this weekend. I couldn't believe it. I think I was asked about a dozen times today if we had heard anything and each time I said "no", I was reminded my lessons on control and really truely turning the anxiety over to God. My favorite verse regarding this has been Philippans 4:6

6 Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

With that said, we will be meeting the birthmother at 2:00 on Saturday. We do know that she is due November 4th. We hope to share more news after the meeting this weekend.

Take care!

Profile Being Shown

2009-09-29T19:49:00.000-05:00

Well, we agreed to have our profile shown to a birthmom this past week. If birthmom decides on us, then she would like to meet us - potentially the end of this week. Our social worker called us and told us that she was finishing the type version of our home assessment, but we are so close to being done, that they are tossing our profile into the hat! I would imagine that the paper work would be officially done by next week. That is good news since it always seems like there is 'just one more' peice of paperwork that needs to be done.

One of our struggles right now is trying to decide if we should stay with Hispanic children or if we should expand our family to a different race. We initially thought that we would want to stay Hispanic so that Alexis would have a cultural bond with her siblings. Then - we started to think that if we had another race, we could show that each child is unique with their race, but we are all a family and it doesn't matter what color you are. There is not a "right" answer, but we sure wish that it easier. Sometime we think, Bethany: don't call us unless it is a Hispanic child whether that is tomorrow or next year. But then your heart strings are pulled and your heart opens to a level that you really can't describe. We remembered when we were told about Alexis - we never even asked what race the baby was or the sex - it didn't matter....... she was our child. So we have come to conclusion to this and have decided to let God make the choice. It is so hard to turn over control!

So, we are preparing to potentially meet a birthmom this week. Our lives could change in a heartbeat and also, she may not consider us at all after looking at all of the profiles presented to her. We really want everyone to pray for her as she is faced with very hard decisions. We trust that God has already lead her to the family that she wishes to be a forever family for her child.

Stay tuned - hope there will be "news" later in the week.
CK

What a day!

2009-09-14T22:11:00.000-05:00

Well, this day has had so many emotions rolled up into less than 24 hours, my mind just spins. We got a call from Bethany......... our social worker said that our home assessment documents were pretty much done - they were still typing them up, but they were calling to ask if our profile could be shown to a birthmom. I said "oh"........... tell me more.......... During our conversation, my gut was telling me this is not right, but then my heart was saying: how can you turn a potential baby away and my head was saying: ok, show the profile, that doesn't mean we commit and we can 'just see'. Randy is in Minneapolis at a conference and OF COURSE can not take calls during the meeting, so I sent him a text and shortly later, he called me back. We talked about it and both of us didn't feel this was "right". We both said, what do we have to lose if our profile is shown? On the other hand, what kind of message is this sending to the birthmother if we appear to be interested and then are not. I DON"T KNOW! What I do know, is that there was never the butterfly effect that I had when we were called about Alexis. I think you just know and this was not it.

This kind of reminds me of when we were waiting during adoption #1 - we had requested a newborn and the agency tried to convince us that a 2 year old from Gautamala would be better for us. It was not what we wanted and wished for. This baby did not fit what we thought would be our next baby and will wait longer for that child. It is knida silly, I guess, since God already knows and planned our next baby. Trust, trust, trust. So easy to say, but so hard to do.

The good news - we are close enough to being done with paper work that Bethany was willing to show our profile, so that means we will be "officially" waiting shortly.

NOT waiting yet.......

2009-08-27T22:10:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it. I emailed our social worker and she indicated that everything is in place and the home study visits are complete, she just needs to pull everything together and write an assessment about us. We also know now that our reference letters have been sent out as well, so there is a bit of paper work to be completed yet. So, not "offically" waiting just yet. Fartin' paper work.........

CK

File is Complete!

2009-08-26T20:03:00.002-05:00

Well, we received a letter stating that we were missing a few things from out file...... so, I made the photocopies, we signed the papers and sent more money........ I would think that we are very close to saying "we are officially waiting", but haven't been told yet. I think I will drop the social worker an email and just ask, I guess. I feel kinda silly asking, but I suppose it would be nice to know. We really have tried very hard not to get our emotions so wrapped up with this adoption. I think it is easier because we have Alexis. We have a little monster at home and she keeps our lives full at every minute. Sometimes I wonder how on earth will we ever manage 2 kids. I have been told several times that you GROW with it - it is not like you get another monster at 2 years of age right away.

So tonight I pledge to email the social worker and officially find out..... stay tuned.

CK

Wonder, wonder, wonder

2009-07-29T23:17:00.005-05:00

This morning while I was getting ready, Alexis was meticulously emptying my clean folded laundry basket that I have been dreading to putaway. She stops and says "Mommie - mommie and daddie need to get another baby so I can hold it". I said, "really?" - and she replied - "yeah, get another baby". I told her we were working on it, but I am sure she had no clue what that meant. I thought it was so interesting that she said "get" rather than "have" - and again, I am sure she doesn't even have the slightest idea between the difference.

It just struck me. Last week, I was in a funk...... a heartache funk from the adoption process. 2 adoptive couples "got" babies, one being a Hispanic girl. I nearly could see my heart coming out my big toe! I was crushed. I don't know why, because we are not even considered "waiting" and we haven't paid the last bill yet.......... and we weren't told our book was shown, so why did I allow myself to become so emotional about those placements?????

Over the past week -10 days, I have been reminding a friend whose mom was dying of breast cancer to TRUST that God has a plan, that everything is already decided and we need to TRUST that He really does know what He is doing. So easy to say, but yet hard to accept. Anyway, I found myself on vacation last week thinking about my friend and what I had been telling her. I admitted to myself that I haven't been trusting at all! Especially with the placements that occurred, I allowed my emotions to take over. I told another friend - who also is an adoptive mom and knows what kind of psycho's we can be - that my mind knows that God has a plan, but the heart wasn't listening. It is really a challenge to get the two on the same page at times. I suppose I could chalk it up to having PMS or being oversensitive, but chocolate didn't help nor did the pity party I was trying to have. So - again, lesson learned: TRUST!

Have a good week!
CK

2nd Home Study Complete!

2009-07-07T10:52:00.004-05:00

Well, we did it! Our second home study is complete! Our social worker came to our house and we spent 3 hours visiting with her. This time around, we can actually say that we did not feel like we were being interrogated! The questions were more conversational and she even conversed with us to clarify what we were saying. She also told us stories of her household as she has 4 kids and tries to maintain sanity as well. It was soooooo nice to have a human component to the home study. We really enjoyed giving her a tour of the house as well - Alexis was very proud to show off her room and also all of her babies that are mounds all over the upstairs bedrooms and hallway. She very diligently puts a blanket down, the the "baby" which is a doll, teddy bear or whatever stuffed animal she can find, then covers the baby with another blanket. So you can imagine how many blankets are scattered about! She was very proud to show how she can care for all of these babies.

The entire 3 hours were very fun and we appeared to look like we know what we were doing as Alexis was awake the entire visit! She then proceeded to the kitchen and peed on the floor! I couldn't believe it! I guess I forgot to look at the clock and ask her if she needed to use the potty and she obviously forgot to tell us or maybe she was trying to get our attention in a very robust way! She did! Luckily, we all laughed and our social worker lightened the setting by saying "i guess I can see parenting teamwork in action" - so she saw how we handled stress!!!!!

Everything went really well, but of course we had one burst of our bubble. When she asked us what we envisioned our next child to be, we said a Hispanic baby - male or female. I guess I have never thought about a Caucasian child! How crazy is that???? In our world, our children are brown!!!! I just never even thought about the possibility of a "white" baby. We have always desired a Hispanic sibling for Alexis as that way the children would have a culture bond - not only that, we just always thought we would stay Hispanic! I guess it is not really a burst of the bubble, but more major food for thought. We understand that Hispanic placement is not common as the extended families are very much relied on when others are in need of help. We know that... and respect that, but there are those that are placed and we hope that we will be blessed with a Hispanic child.

I remember when we first started the adoption journey with Alexis. We put on our application that we were open to any race, but desired a baby - a newborn right from the hospital. During the home study and after some time, we were told we should consider an older child, perhaps international placement. Well, that meant no baby! I remember crying and having it out with God one night saying - is it too much to ask that we want a baby, an infant at birth? why are these people directing us to older children and discouraging us from this? what on earth are you trying to tell us??? can you please just give us a sign? can you just be more clear?

I guess this goes back to God again. Sometimes I think: is God trying to open our hearts and minds to a Caucasian child? or is God saying: trust me, I have shown you and granted you a child already, I will grant your wishes again?? I try to step back and remember how I (we) were looking so hard for signs from God, but we forget that God whispers in our ears and if we can just listen - he will tell us! I keep forgetting about this. I keep forgetting to listen. We trust and know that God has already a plan for our family. Our child is already in His plan - maybe conceived and maybe not yet.

This is the hardest part with adoption for us. We can do the paperwork, the fingerprints, ect.... but having to trust, having to have patience, and knowing that we are totally not in control makes it hard - very hard.

CK

Round 1 of Home Study Completed!

2009-06-17T07:36:00.003-05:00

Well, we did it! We made it through the first visit with our social worker. The meeting was set up for me to visit first and then Randy second. It went really well - not as interrogating as we have experienced before. Our social worker is very down to earth and compassionate about her work, which makes a WORLD of difference.

This round really was just to talk about ourselves and our individual families. For example: How many brothers and sisters do you have, where do they live, how many kids do they have, what are there hobbies........ How did you and your spouse meet, how long married, ect..... The next round will be with us together, then with Alexis.

We also turned in our profile books, so that is done as well.

We just keep pluggin' along.............

Home Studies starting! Yahoo!

2009-06-11T09:47:00.002-05:00

Well, we have gotten through most of the paper work, there are still some forms to fill out and we just have been dragging our feet! We have the home studies scheduled to start next week Tuesday. This is when we meet with the social worker to talk about us as individuals and as parents. Once this is completed, the social worker will write a report about us - yikes! Then we can move on to the next phase which is waiting.

When we decided to start the process for #2 adoption, we really didn't have a set time line in mind. We just figured we would start with the paper work and slowly get through this stuff again. I have had so many people ask why we have to go through everything again, well, jokingly I have said that we could have become felons over the past 3 years or have become a violent person not suitable for parenting....... but in reality, we need to look at it from the birthmother standpoint too. Can you imagine if you wanted to place a child and knew absolutely nothing about the people you were giving your child too? I don't think I would want to go into that blind, so we go through the paper work, background checks, analysis of parental capabilities, and selling ourselves to a prospective birthmother. I guess when looking at all of this, it really doesn't matter, because God has a plan for us - He already has a child picked out - maybe already conceived and maybe not.

Our profile books arrived last week so they are ready to go as well. We will be giving them all to the social worker so she can distribute them to the different offices for other social workers to use when talking to birthmothers. We are very happy with how the book turned out - there are a couple of things I have to laugh about because when making the book, I didn't notice these things - such as on the FRONT cover no less, my hair has one chunk standing straight up - just like alfalfa! I about croaked when I saw that. I showed a friend the book and she did not see it until I pointed it out, but oh my! There are a couple of other things like that, but to someone looking at the book vs analyzing the book, hopefully I am the only one to see those things. We are very excited to be done with that part of the process too.

So, slowly BUT surely, we continue with the process.

This morning Alexis came with me to get a coffee. There was a lady in the parking lot and started to talk to us - well Alexis anyway. She commented on Alexis's cast/sling and wanted to know what happened. She also commented several times at how cute Alexis was and wanted to know if she was "mine". I replied "she sure is"!

Profile Book a GO!

2009-05-22T19:41:00.002-05:00

Well, I met with the social worker this morning for her to review our profile book before we order them. Everything looked good and got the go ahead to order. We also entered another phase of the process where the "interviews" are started. Our social worker told me today that they will visit with us each individually and then together, with one of the visits at our house. They have to come and check out the living arrangements at home.

We are still working on some paper work, but there is an end in sight. We have to have our medical check ups as well as lab work up for drug screening and HIV. Alexis also has to have a medical check up - just in case we are feeding her too much chocolate and not enough broccoli! Sad part - she doesn't like broccoli, not yet anyway - I keep trying!!!

I have to say, I was very much relieved after the social worker told us that the interviews are not intended to be an interrogation as this is what we felt after the last home study. I have dreaded coming to this point in the process and after today, I am so relieved. I told Randy what the social worker had to say about the time spent with the interviews and how they would go. He was very relieved as well. We have a friend as a social worker who works with adoptive families as well as birth mothers - you can tell social workers like her a part from those just doing a job like the one we had previously! We hope to get these visits scheduled as soon as we can or as we can fit our schedules with the social worker's schedule.

So, who knows how long this will all take and how long we will wait. We just need to be patience!

Have a good weekend. I am sure it will rain since it is a long holiday weekend.
CK

Paperwork, Paperwork!

2009-05-17T22:56:00.002-05:00

The paperwork continues. Once I think we have accomplished a huge chunk of it, we come across yet another "intake" sheet. It becomes very overwhelming when having to select what you will "accept" with a child. For example, there are categories such as 'correctable defects', 'non-correctable defects', if birth mother smoke or drank before or during pregnancy, if birth mother's mother has any mental illnesses.............. There are lots of scenarios that are presented and it just makes it tough to think about. How many women who have biological babies know they were pregnant in their first trimester? And continued to drink/smoke??? And then once they found out they were pregnant, and then stopped??? It is just overwhelming! No other words for it.

We continue to work through our "self reflection" paperwork. I am wondering if I could just have a chocolate IV started so I can finish this packet. We haven't even started the home study yet, so I think the chocolate IV could be a permanent thing till that is done.

We have our profile book pretty much done. I am meeting with our social worker to preview the book before I order them - that is not a cheep thing either with each costing about 50 bucks or so and needing about 5 of them! I have heard that if the agency doesn't approve a picture, they will make you take it out - hard to do when you have then all done.

I had to go to the safety deposit box this past week to retrieve some paper work and saw a file labeled "Adoption - Alexis". In the file was her adoption decree. I glanced over it and realized that all of this paper work is worth it.
:-)

CK

Finger prints completed!

2009-05-09T09:54:00.003-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to you all!

We completed our finger prints this week. We went to the Sioux County Jail located in Orange City to have these completed. I wanted to take my camera along so we could document this part of the journey, however, Randy scuffled at my request and said this is a "jail" you can't take a camera along. So I didn't. I was hoping to have Randy put in a holding cell, or hand cuffed, or something.......... Anyway, we couldn't have done it anyway, all of the holding cells were full - including the padded one! It must have been a busy night for the cops! So I sat very politely and waited my turn.

We went to Bethany's office right after the finger printing because we have been told that it takes up to 8 weeks for processing. I don't understand that, but oh well. When we turned in the prints, Bethany said that there is a new process for finger prints and should only take 4 weeks instead of the 8! We were excited for this - just in case something should come up quick.... We turned in our back ground checks as well, so hopefully my speeding tickets don't show up on these!!! hahahah.

We continue to work through the paper work. I had to make a trip to the bank and dig up our birth certificates and marriage license - we have to submit copies of these too. We are still having to fill out the paperwork about ourselves and each other - we keep procrastinating with these forms. Once the paper work is completed, then we start the home studies with the social worker. I have been working on our profile book on Shutterfly. It is almost done! It has been fun to look at all of the pictures of us as a newly married couple and then of Alexis as a baby. It is amazing that she was so small at one time.

It is impossible to know how long it will take for us to be selected by a birth mom. I hope that it doesn't take long, but also have to remember to trust that our child has already been picked for us and we have to TRUST God will provide on his time table. That is hard!!!!!

Take care and have a great weekend.
CK

Roller Coaster Effect

2009-04-28T22:53:00.002-05:00

I was talking the other day with an adoptive family who just were placed with #2 baby. The adoptive mom and I were talking and sharing notes about adoption, birth families and the ups and downs of adoption. We both had to agree that going through the process the second time doesn't seem as dramatic as the first, but there are still the ups and downs - the roller coaster effect. It seems as though I am noticing babies much more these days....... not sure if there are just that many more babies in my path or I am "more sensitive" to babies since we wish for one.

It is interesting how God works with all of this as well. As I had stated earlier, Randy and I seem to think we need signs. God has given us signs that may change the course of this path that we thought we would be on - I guess we were thinking in terms of our plans again...... We need to be reminded that we need to TRUST that God does know what He is doing and follow is guidance. The paperwork is overwhelming and when you have to select which type of child you would accept becomes incredibly difficult.

SO, with this post, nothing new - just having to make decisions that aren't always easy.

CK

Application Approved!

2009-04-24T07:37:00.003-05:00

Thank you all for the words of encouragement! First - to answer several common questions: Yes we are adopting "domestic" which means we will adopt a child from the USA. Alexis was born in Iowa so we didn't even need to cross state lines which made it WAY easy. We are willing to travel the USA if needed. We wish to stay with Hispanic children. We feel that it would be beneficial to Alexis and the new Kooima baby to have that cultural bond. We are going through Bethany Christian Services - this is who we ended with, but not started with for Alexis. With the adoption of Alexis, we started with a different agency and over time their goals for us and our goals started to separate, so we felt we needed to transfer agencies. We transferred to Bethany...... So, we thought we would go with Bethany again. Now, with Alexis - we only had 1 week notice and were with Bethany a total of 3 weeks. This will probably not be the case again, but who knows. Every adoption has its own story and time line, so we need to make sure that we do not think to ourselves that it will only take the time it did with Alexis.

Our application has been "approved" and we have gotten the go ahead to proceed with the other paperwork. I picked up the packet this week and we have LOTS of homework to do. One thing that is different for us this year is finger printing. I can't wait to go to the police department and have our prints taken...... I wonder if it will be like CSI? I am going to take my camera along, maybe I can get Randy in hand cuffs???? Another piece of paper work that we didn't have to do last time is write about each other. OH BOY - this could be fun. Anyone want to edit our descriptions about each other before we send in????? I think I will make a homemade dinner, have the house clean, clothes folded and car washed before I have Randy do mine! Heheheheheh.......

Will update more later, but that is where we are at. I hope to post more pics, especially of the "finger printing". Have a GREAT day!
CK

Formal Application Submitted!

2009-04-19T11:09:00.004-05:00

Well, we finally hit the submit button for the formal application for adoption #2. It was quite a ceremony: Randy was in bed sleeping and I was up about 1:00 AM and decided it was time. We had gathered the remaining data the day before and I had been reviewing the application over and over again to make sure that all fields were completed. Over the past 3 months or so, we have been talking more seriously about #2. We just were reluctant to start the entire process over again. It is a scary thing to expose yourself to the level you have to with the adoption process. We also didn't know when is a good time for #2. For those of you who have more than 1 child - you know and have told us that there is not a good or ideal time for #2. Some of my friends have told me "if you are thinking of #2, then you are ready". I am not so sure I believe that. I guess Randy and I are always thinking that there should be some sort of 'sign' to say: YOU ARE READY.

I think that Alexis is ready for a sibling though - she has really taken off with taking care of her 'babies' in the nursery. She puts them to bed, she acts like she is feeding them with a bottle and she even says that they have "pee-u" and wants to change the diaper. She says - "mommy, babies are crying" and runs upstairs to check on them. A couple of weeks ago I fed a 7 week old baby in front of her to see what she would do. She came over and wanted to help hold the bottle. She got the baby's blanket and put it over the baby because "baby cold". She was very proud that she could help. Now, 6-7 months ago - I don't think she would have done that. She would have insisted on sitting on my lap with the baby or saying "NO mommy".

We decided to start the blog early because I wanted to keep you all updated on the process from the start. There are many more steps we have to take before we can say that we are officially waiting for a child. There is the home study (my favorite part), back ground checks, finger prints, etc..... and that all takes time.

In church this morning someone said they were thinking about our family and this time of year. I started to think about this, about this time 3 years ago, we found out that we would be unable to have biological children. Matter of fact, I looked back and it was April 10, 2006 in which we got the news. We formally submitted our application on April 14, 2009. Ironic. Maybe that is our "sign" we have been looking for.

So, the journey begins. I will be updating the blog as we meander through the paper work and process of adoption!

Kooima's